Families are important. Most of us grew up in a family. Our family shapes who we are. A Happy, Healthy Family is connected and robust giving people the best start in life. No matter what your family was/is once a person becomes an adult they are responsible for how they live. Once a person becomes a parent they have a responsibility to create their family culture.
The culture (the pattern) of a family is created by the relationship between the parents (whether or not they are present!) or parent figures. When families are robust and connected each person feels safe, secure, and free to be themselves. Children are encouraged to grow even if this means leaving the family for a while.
WISDOM in your life runs:
The five fundamental wisdoms of Happy Healthy Families – for parents Coming in 2017
|Five fundamental wisdoms for happy healthy families for parents who want to build emotionally mentally robust children|
Each wisdom takes 3 hours to complete. Like all our programs, these are visual and activity based. We may add music, movement, song, story or art to embed this in your mind. Wisdoms include:
- Creating a family culture
- Adult relationships/child relationships
- Power and control in relationships
- Parenting from Fear or Love
- Empowering children to develop responsibility
Family cultures that are divided, disconnected or fear based lead to children who have issues either now or in the future. Issues may be internal, such as depression, anxiety or stress related illnesses, or they may be external and the child acts out, behavioural issues, vandalism and bullying are common. Parents who have not dealt with their own issues or the relationship between the parents is fractured create these types of cultures.
WISDOM in Your Life can tailor programs to heal broken families.
I am a bird flying free
dancing around and being me.
Then along comes a hunter who doesn’t like birds.
He shoots them down in flocks and in herds.
I am a fish swimming along
cool and wet, singing a song.
Then along comes a shark, out of the weed
Who’s looking at me for his next feed.
I don’t fit in, I do not steal
I’m not the shark eating his meal.
I don’t fit in, I’m not the same
Hoping I’m not going insane.
I am an individual, funny and bright
Who feels like a bird in mid flight.
Then I realize I’m just a teenager
Growing up and becoming stranger.
Written by Jeremy Snyder, age 13
View StoryThe Five Types of Love
According to Ralph Alan Dale, there are five types of love. The first three types of love violate the laws of nature and are destructive to our society. Which type of love are your relationships based on?
The first type of love is possessive love. This is like owning an object! Success is defined by how many, how rare or how beautiful the object is that you possess. This type of love can be described as a selfish and manipulative act. This type of love can lead to domestic violence or family abuse.
The second type of love is co-dependent love. This type of love is based on the belief that you can not exist without the other (drug or alcohol can be the other) or the union of two people with one identity. Co-dependent love prevents self growth and independence. In some circles, this is believed to be ideal love.
The third type of love is romantic love and is based on a belief that there exists only one perfect mate for you and this perfect mate will complete your life, your relationship has no conflicts and is easy, they will fill your deficiencies and you don't need to grow as a person. The other person can never live up to these unrealistic expectations and will let you down. A perfect mate is an illusion and people go from one relationship to another in search of their perfect mate. People often feel unfulfilled and that they are missing out. This highly sought after, but completely unfulfilling type of love is what Hollywood movies sell us on.
The fourth type of love is infinite love and this is based on the belief that love is an energy that flows between people, nature and life. Love is freely given and received, not only to and from other people but to rocks, birds, art, and nature. The person that feels infinite love has shed their armour and masks and is truly free. To feel love and compassion for all people all of the time is difficult, but this is what is required of infinite love. However, in our society this type of love is judged as 'do gooders', 'tree huggers' 'crossing professional boundaries' and often misinterpreted from a framework of the other types of love. Occasionally, this can be used as a mask for the other types of love. Many abusers will talk the talk of infinite love only their actions may be showing romantic love.
The fifth type of love is becoming love and this is based on the belief we are one of one and are pure energy. This type of love currently cannot be experienced only dreamt about! We need a critical mass of people experiencing and living infinite love to make this a reality. Imagine a world where the majority of people do not need to sacrifice their humanity to be accepted.
by Roslyn Snyder
View StoryThe Treadmill
In the beginning we get onto a treadmill and believe that it will take us where we want to go. People and circumstances increase the speed gradually and we don't notice. We just begin to jog, then jog faster until we are running. "I must be getting somewhere because I am using a lot of energy" you tell yourself. Then one day something happens and you find yourself thrown of the treadmill. At first you are devastated, but then you discover that outside there are
- hikes to walk
- rivers to swim
- mountains to climb
That use the same amount of energy that you were using on the treadmill but the experiences are so much more enjoyable. If you are off the treadmill for enough time you learn that people who walk, swim, and climb end up where you wanted to be in the beginning and you discover the treadmill is stationary and your movement forward is an illusion
Some people never learn this at all because they never have the opportunity to be off the treadmill - they run until they drop and someone else takes their place on the treadmill. If you find yourself off the treadmill, even for a short while, use this time to learn. Then you can teach your children about hiking, swimming and climbing which is far more enjoyable than using a treadmill.
Keep your goals in mind but enjoy your journey.