Practical Psychology for Everyday Life for you

Introduction

Welcome, my books have been written for you. My workshops and the way I go about therapy is all about you - finding ways for you to see how everything in your life is linked. There is a pattern. No one is depressed because they choose to be, no one has absolute rage at other people without a reason (although the reason is not the other person), no one has a diagnosed mental illness without something in their life leading to that and no one abuses drugs for fun. My books, workshops and individual therapy are about showing you what that pattern is. Once you understand your own patterns, you can change them. The pattern may be a depression cycle, a reaction to trauma, learned ways of living from parents or teachers or your way of coping with events. If these are causing you problems in your life then something needs to be done. I simply show you what this is and what you can do about it.

I have spent over 20 years finding patterns to life. I have put these patterns into easily understood pictures that use the words you would use. Things like "I'm just keeping my head above water", "I'm sinking into despair", "I'm so lost", "I just feel like I'm going through the motions", "I'm so stuck". These pictures that explain patterns of life have been used with over 40 different cultures and with people as young as 10 and people as old as 80, all have been able to see their life within these pictures.

How have I done this?
There are several parts to this.

Firstly, the talents I was born with. I see patterns where other people don't. When I was younger this showed up in maths, but since I was about seven years old I started to see a pattern to life, although I didn't have the words to tell people about it. I also have a great gift of being able to show complex psychological processes in simple picture form that any one can understand. And finally, for whatever reason people tell me things that they have never told anyone before. This happened from an early age, I remember being 12 and having an 18 year old young man who was studying medicine tell me how he beat up his father when he was 16 and had lived in fear of his father all his life.

Secondly, there are my own life experiences. I have had a very interesting life, seeing things that most children don't. As a twelve year old, one of my school friends was working as a prostitute and I saw drug abuse, mental illness and used to sit and watch the drunks on the streets. For a while during early teens I saw seedier things and was living this life. I married young and had two children before going to university at the age of 24. I worked in places that people talked to me a lot. People from all walks of life and they told me things in confidence.

Thirdly, I read a lot. I still read about 2 books a week, but in the past I would read more. I read any and everything including novels, trashy romance, real life, autobiographies, biographies, non-fiction, including physics, philosophy, psychology, spirituality, religion, culture and much more. I also watch movies and television. All of these things show how people are with each other and how the world works - you just need to know what to look for.

And finally, studies at university, I studied psychology, culture and language for 8 years. This was very difficult at first as I had left school at 15, but I had a need to find out more. I would read every book assigned and then about another 10 to 20 on each subject. I would sit in the library and read all the research. This gave me the foundation to write from.

At one of the first lectures I attended for psychology the lecturer told us that psychology had lots of valuable knowledge but you needed to have a degree in psychology to understand any of it. While studying I found this to be true. Most of the time I had a dictionary next to me as I read anything. I studied part time and so had a lot longer to think about what I was reading.

Here is a test:
Who knows what this means?

Strong stimulation of the trigeminal nociceptors in the nasal mucosa induces secretion of mucus and engorgement of nasal erectile tissue.

I wrote these words for a psychological paper. They mean if you smell something strong like vinegar, your nose will run and go red.

I transform complex psychological processes into simple words and pictures in all the books and workshops listed here. If you really want to understand people - including yourself these are for you. Below is my first series, which is all about you. I have other patterns in my head that will form other series, which will show patterns that are even more hidden in society. You need to get yourself together before you can effectively do anything else.

Self Repair Tool Kit

A set of basic life tools for you to deal with day to day stresses through to deeply buried emotional pain.

This kit has four books, a CD, plus some paints for you to use. The two books Journey to the centre of your life - the map and Journey to the centre of your life - your compass explain in simple words and pictures how to find where you are and who you are. The activity book Stuck! 20,000 leagues from the centre of your life, contains simple things for you to do, each page takes you through the map and finds a part of your compass.

The activities:

• Are simple - anyone over the age of 10 can do these;
• Simultaneously access right and left hemisphere in the brain:
• use conscious and unconscious processing;
• work on five levels of awareness utilising both a top down/bottom up approach;
• Result in integrating the mind for profound long term change;
• Are non-threatening, you choose the activity when you are ready.

This is a little bit like joining the dots to form a picture except the picture that is drawn is you.

This kit can help you, but only if you actually read the books and do the activities. This is not a quick fix; a repair on your SELF can take several years. Although if you do not start today you will be in the same place tomorrow, the day after, next year and the year after. Most people see improvements in a couple of weeks. However, lasting change takes more than reading a book, you need to live what you learn. Most repairs on your self need a change in how you think, releasing feelings that have been locked away and practicing doing things differently.

Some people learn best by doing things themselves. However, some people would not do this and the kit will sit on the shelf, if this is you, an integrated workshop or individual therapy or joining a self repair club (see below) may be a better option.

The sense of SELF is inside of you and is who you are, what you are doing, it is very practical and when your SELF is strong and healthy it makes living your life easier.

The kit can also be used for people who are emotionally healthy who would like to become emotionally robust. I do activities as per the maintenance stage regularly, to keep me emotionally robust. This includes taking regular breaks away from work.

The first step to living is to know yourself well; this kit allows you to do this. If you don't like something about yourself you can change it.

Journey to the centre of your life - the map

An insight into the psychological processes of life in everyday words and pictures

This is the first book I wrote and describes the first pattern I saw which is about how people live their life. The pattern forms a map. The book shows how this map is formed and what happens when you stop living and become 'stuck' or 'lost' in a part of the map. Just like if you were to get lost in the woods/ desert or stuck in a bog you need a map to find out which way out also you may need some help to get out. The map actually represents the emotional landscape of life.

The map is the same for everyone, how people react and what they do is different. The differences can be age. For example a 5 year old that has their parents divorce may start wetting the bed, a 15 year old whose parents divorce may start drinking, a 25 year old whose parents divorce may start working long hours. However, all of them are having the same emotional reaction underneath. The differences may be male/female differences. For example someone loses their job a male may get drunk and get into a fight and a woman may eat a box of chocolates and cry with friends. The differences may be cultural, learnt from family and friends, seen on television, what is proper or a whole range of things. The underlying map is the same. When you understand that everyone is the same in this, you can accept yourself and others easier.

I have been using the map with people for over five years and have had people two years after seeing it still remember and use it when I thought they weren't paying any attention to what I was saying. This book explains the normal and abnormal ups and downs of life, how some people lose their way and others become 'stuck' and how to get your life back on track. People who are 'stuck' or 'lost' in places within the map are unable to live the life they need. At present, many people are 'stuck' or 'lost' - anyone with depression/anxiety, anyone in prison, anyone using drugs or alcohol to get through the day, anyone obsessively cleaning, anyone having road rage, anger outbursts, violence, anyone hurting other people, the list goes on and on. Could you be one?

For anyone who needs to understand people more. For example managers, teachers, health workers or simply a family member can also get a lot out of this book. They can understand and therefore be more compassionate to other people who are having difficulties in their life.

Click here if you would like to read chapter one of this book.

Journey to the centre of your life - your compass

An insight into the psychological processes of who you are in everyday words and pictures

This book explains a pattern within each person that shows them the way through their life. Each of you has a compass deep within that lets you know when you aren't doing things that you were born to do. This may be a feeling of unrest or may eventually lead to more serious effects, including illness. Your compass is made up of information you were born with (your core) and information you have got since (your sphere of knowledge).

This books shows how your compass is formed and how many of you have disregarded your own compass for either someone else's or for things outside of your selves (eg money, prestige, or a takeaway dinner). When you hear your own compass you will be guided through life. The book shows that often the true self is not how people live.

This book is different from Journey to the centre of your life - the map in that 'the map' is the same for everyone (how individuals experience the map is different) whereas 'your compass' is uniquely yours. When you uncover your own compass and you know which way is forward to you, your life will seem less complicated, decisions become easier and you can experience real power that comes from within not by what you own or who you can boss around.

I truly believe this is the most important book I have written to date, although for some people this book is a bit harder to understand.

This book actually helped my son at age 15, a great deal - he found his core within and it changed how he saw himself. He realised he was trying to be someone he was not and was bullied at school. However when he accepted his own unique core and lived this he became popular as people looked up to him for being true to himself.

Click here if you would like to read chapter one of this book.

Stuck! 20,000 leagues from the centre of your life

A workbook in everyday words and pictures for people who have become stuck in their life

This is a workbook - you actually write in it, with a guided meditation CD. This is for you to discover the patterns in your life. It has over 150 activities for you to do and helps you find your own compass and helps you get out of where you may be 'stuck' within the map.

I have had people who had been quite ill mentally/emotionally do the activities in this book and feel like they had control again. These include people with post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety or anger based problems. Some people used the book with the help of a therapist and some on their own. This book came out in 2001 and I have gotten people to tell me how it helped them. For some people who bought the book it is still sitting on their shelf and they haven't used it at all.

You can use this book without reading the other two books. The other two books explain life and yourself respectively and this book allows you to look at your own life and your self in detail. You learn about your life as you do the activities - each one gives you a piece of you. Often we just think we know who we are and how we live. Of course you can lie as you do the activities, but you are lying to yourself and you can only repair your life when you are honest about your life. If you have a serious mental illness it is advisable to talk to your therapist about doing any of this on your own.

Stuck! 20, 000 leagues from the centre of your life is a very practical book, all the activities have been used over the last 10 - 15 years either with myself or with people I help. This book has only a few pages of explanations about life. The first chapter explains how to use the book. This book is ideal for people who just want to 'do' something to fix their own life. If you want to understand what and how you are doing this then you probably need to buy the Self repair tool kit.

Around my life in 80 pages

A journal for your private words and pictures

This is my fourth book, which is not really a book but a journal. Around my life in 80 pages contains blank pages (for you to draw your life) and lined pages (for you to write about your life) with a few quotes or pictures from me. This book is designed to be used with Stuck! 20,000 leagues from the centre of your life and as such is not available for individual sale - only within the Self repair tool kit.

Workshops

Some of you learn really well from books, others will need a more hands on approach. This is where the workshops come in. I run workshops in which you to do activities (sometimes art, drama, writing) that shows you your own patterns in your life.

Starting in February 2008 a 12 session program which covers the emotional landscape will run weekly or fortnightly in Mandurah Western Australia. Each session will run for 1 hr and 15 minutes, with 15 minutes education, then you do the activity and then there is 10 minutes relaxation at the end. Each week teaches you a new skill or therapeutic technique that you can use for your everyday life. To receive further information email me info@wisdominyourlife.com.au

A weekend luxury retreat on improving your mental health will be scheduled in late in 2008. To register your interest email your details to info@wisdominyourlife.com.au

If you would like a workshop in your region, all I need is between 12 and 20 people and we can arrange this. Email your details to info@wisdominyourlife.com.au



Charts

All the charts are pictures from the books enlarged, coloured and laminated so that people can see them clearer. The majority of the charts are bought by therapists, although some people want them on their wall to remind themselves to live their life not going through the motions.

The map
This chart combines the map (pg 50) with the levels of depression (pg 38) from the book Journey to the centre of your life - the map.

Available in two sizes
        - A4 (21cm x 30cm)
        - A3 (30cm x 42 cm)

Your compass
This chart explains your compass in a single picture (derived from pg 63) from Journey to the centre of your life - your compass.

Available in two sizes
        - A4 (21cm x 30cm)
        - A3 (30cm x 42 cm)

The boat
This chart is also from the book Journey to the centre of your life - your compass and explains how you are the captain of your own life - just like you were the captain of a boat, with all the things you need to take account of to get from here to there. The type of boat is your core being.

Available in two sizes
        - A4 (21cm x 30cm)
        - A3 (30cm x 42 cm)

Individual therapy

I also do individual work with people in Mandurah, Western Australia. I use all the techniques from my currently published books and also some from future books. I have a wide range of clients; most come because a doctor has sent them to me; others know someone I have worked with before. I see a lot of people who are depressed, angry or suicidal. I also work with men who don't usually see anyone.

My room is a casual setting - its set up like sitting around a kitchen table - and I often get people to paint and draw as well as talk. Some people don't talk at all and that is okay as well. I see my role as assisting the person to make sense of their life and showing them a way to live more fully.

Choosing a therapist

The best advice I can give you for seeking out a therapist is to ask around, ask your doctor, family or friends. A personal recommendation is usually the best. In Australia, it is possible for someone with no training to provide services, and some people have only done a weekend course. Please ask about their qualifications and experience; in 5 years I have only been asked once. The most common question I get is about fees. For repairing something as valuable as your mind, often the cheapest quote will not be the best option. And, if someone has had therapy, that doesn't make them a therapist; you wouldn't get a person who had an operation to operate on you.

One of the most important things when you see a therapist is that you get along with them, if after the initial visit you believe they are an idiot or worse, then don't go back. A therapist needs to treat you with respect and ensure you are kept informed about what they are doing. They shouldn't be tricking you or making you feel like a number, a piece of meat or their pay packet. These are common complaints I hear from people who have gone, usually to unqualified people and inexperienced people, but sometimes to therapists who should know better.

Please remember that therapy can be confronting and you may not always like what you find out about yourself, however, it is only when you know this that you can change anything about yourself or learn to accept this.

Setting up a self repair club

Self repair clubs are like a book club, but instead of reading a book, you work through the workbook and read the books in the self repair tool kit Some meet to discuss their progress through the Self Repair Tool Kit, others to work through a page of the workbook. Clubs can either have a leader, or be leaderless. If a club has a leader, the leader needs to have some experience or qualifications with this type of work. A leaderless group can be created by anyone. Every member of a leaderless group is equal and works together towards a common goal. Below are 6 steps to setting up a leaderless group.

Step 1 -
Find 3 - 10 people who would like to work through the self repair tool kit. Select a time and day suitable for participants, 2 hours is ideal and either once a week or once a fortnight. Find a suitable venue (at each other's house or possibly a community house)

Step 2 -
Register your group with WISDOM in Your Life, fee $20/year Aus (optional, group will receive a start up pack, each member will receive regular information regarding the club, helpful hints, answers to questions etc.)

Step 3 -
Purchase a Self-repair tool kit each (if money is tight, then at least a workbook each and copies of the other books for the group to share). For orders of 3 or more self repair tool kits and registration of a self repair club, a 10% discount ($110 each) plus free postage in Australia will apply

Step 4 -
At the first night establish a set of rules for the group (this is in the start up kit)

Step 5 -
Decide whether:

• you want someone in charge each week (this may rotate) or to let whatever happens happen
  
• there is a pre-planned order to the activities (eg from front to back) or the activity is selected on the night, or by the group the previous session.
• to complete the agreed activity page before or during the group. There is no set right or wrong for any activity and people can interpret the activity in any way.
  
• people have to share their work or not
  
• a small fee is charged each week to buy shared resources eg. large paper, crayons, tea and coffee.
  

Step 6 -
Have fun! Laugh at yourself and with others (not at others). This doesn't have to be all hard slog...